John Jones

Dear Christian Exile Readers,
I’ve had a question come from a much loved sister in a wonderful congregation. I thought my answer to her might be helpful for us too. Christians all over the world are desirous to know how we might be more faithful in the Lord’s service.

Our Sister’s Question – “May I please ask if attending Wednesday night study would be a criteria of a person’s faithfulness? We have a big argument in the church here.”

My response:
Hi sister! It’s good to hear from you! I really appreciate your question. It might be helpful to know that this question is relevant in America too. Here in Tennessee, our church attendance on Sunday evening and Wednesday night is significantly lower than our attendance on Sunday mornings.

The fact of the matter is this: For each individual who attends on Sunday morning but doesn’t return on Sunday or Wednesday night, I won’t know their reasoning without asking them. I likely won’t be able to ask in a humble but sincere way without first being enough of a brother or sister to them to let them know how much they are missed.

As for the question of whether or not I can place a criteria for faithfulness for one of my brethren, I’m not sure that I can and this is why: I don’t know their heart.

I’m sure many have their reasons for absenting themselves from our evening church gatherings. For some, I imagine they have to work to provide for their families, but perhaps it would be possible for them to ask for those evenings off. For the older generation in the church, they may be uncomfortable driving at night, but perhaps they could ask for a brother or sister in Christ to give them a ride. Whatever their excuse may be, I truly cannot examine their heart or the legitimacy of their reasoning. All I can do is to serve them, love them, and do my part in providing a family-like atmosphere that any absent family member would be sad to miss.

If a brother or sister thinks of worship services, Bible study opportunities, and occasions of fellowship as an obligation or a chore, this is a symptom of a deeper heart problem. When my heart is fully aligned with the heart of Christ, where else would I want to be than with His people? What other activity could possibly bring me more joy and meaning in my life than to better understand His Word or to praise Him for what He has done?

I would encourage the brother or sister in question with the following passages from the book of Psalms and then ask how we, as faithful individuals, might positively impact our gatherings.

Psalm 133:1 states “Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity!”

Are our gatherings an opportunity for goodness and pleasantness? Do we enjoy fellowship and see the love of Christ in the Christian family? If not, we need to seriously consider what aspects of our gatherings could use improvement. We are to “stir one another up to love and good works” at the occasion of our meetings (Hebrews 10:24-25). We may need to determine whether something like bitterness, slander, or complacency in our gatherings is preventing love and good works from being stirred up and may be keeping brethren away.

The Psalmist tells us of his joy to learn God’s Word. In Psalm 119: 14-16 we read:

In the way of your testimonies, I delight as much as in all riches.
I will meditate on your precepts and fix my eyes on your ways.
I will delight in your statutes; I will not forget your word.

The faithful brother or sister feels this way about God’s Word and every opportunity to study it.

Are the Bible study opportunities we present to the congregation deep and meaningful? Does the congregation feel fed from the word of God? If not, they may look for meaning elsewhere. I pray our meeting times are catered to the needs of those still needing ‘the pure milk of the word’ (1 Peter 2:2), but also to the spiritual dietary requirements of more mature brethren who are ready for ‘the meat’ (1 Corinthians 3:2).

I will give to the LORD the thanks due to his righteousness,
and I will sing praise to the name of the LORD, the Most High.
Psalm 7:17

Are our gatherings frequently reminding our brethren of how praiseworthy our Lord is and how much he has benefited us (Psalm 103)? While we may often focus on our responsibilities to keeping His commands, are we frequently focusing on His great love for us, His rescuing us from our sins, and His wonderful plan of salvation? When we are frequently reminded of how great our Savior’s love is for us, we will remember that “his commandments are not burdensome” (1 John 5:3).

The heart of a faithful individual grieves when they miss an opportunity to spend time with their Christian family. They take advantage of every possible chance to worship the Lord or learn something new from His Word. There’s nowhere they’d rather be during the times in which the local congregation has chosen to meet.

While we aren’t able to look into the hearts of those absent on Sunday or Wednesday nights, we are able to look into God’s Word and understand our faithful response to these brethren is to love and encourage them while we seek to make our times of gathering more rich in praise, sweet fellowship, and dedicated Bible study.

John

Dear Christian Exile readers,

Please pray for the young congregations of New Zealand who are studying and working hard to appoint their first elderships! The congregation at South Auckland appointed their first elders last month and the following correspondence is from another great congregation in New Zealand who is studying the topic. One thing is for certain, congregations with hard-working, servant-leaders who serve as elders are incredibly blessed! Thank God daily and pray for these men and their families! Don’t take them for granted!

My good friend asked me:

“We have been looking at eldership lately and looking at what ‘faithful’ means in Titus 1:6; whether it means ‘Christian’ or ‘faithful forwards parents. Just want to know your thoughts…”

My response:

I’m really glad to see that your congregation is continuing to study eldership. I was excited to see the new eldership at South Auckland and hope that the congregations of New Zealand will follow their footsteps. I also really appreciate the carefulness that everyone is taking in wanting to properly understand 1 Timothy 3 and Titus 1. That concern for scriptural authority is commendable. It would be impossible for anyone familiar with the situation to conclude that anyone there is ‘playing fast and loose’ with the Scriptures. You all clearly want to honor the Lord both in the desire to have scriptural leadership but also the desire to make sure that any man appointed meets the biblical qualifications. Amen to both of those desires!

I have seen some congregations, in their desire to honor God’s criteria for elders, impose the strictest possible (but not necessarily accurate) interpretation on Titus 1:6. By doing so, I think they miss the overarching point of the criteria.

Each of these standards mentioned for eldership are meant to be evaluated in view of the final goal: the task of faithfully shepherding a congregation of the Lord’s people.

The first criteria in Titus 1:6 provides a helpful illustration of this. What does “the husband of one wife” mean? Consider this situation: Imagine a scenario where a faithful Christian man, already an elder, was married to a faithful Christian woman and she died. At some point later, this same faithful man remarried a widow in the Church who had been faithful for her whole life. Would he now be unqualified to serve as an elder? I have met some who would say that the fact that he has now remarried means that he is no longer “the husband of one wife.” He’s technically had two women in his life. Holding that strictest possible (but incorrect, in my opinion) interpretation, he would not be qualified for eldership, despite being qualified by every other criterion. But does that strict interpretation honor the purpose of the criteria? Is a widower who scripturally married a widow somehow less fit to shepherd the flock of God because, technically, he has had two wives over the span of his whole life? No, a better interpretation of the phrase “husband of one wife,” given the end goal of the criteria is whether or not a man has followed the Lord’s instructions concerning marriage.

If we apply this same standard to the question of “pistos” in 1:6, it might shed some light on the highly debated question. It’s important to recognise that the fact that many have debated it means that we are all very concerned with faithfulness to God in our interpretation.

In Scripture, “Pistos” is sometimes interpreted “trustworthy” or “faithful” in reference to a responsibility or to a superior like it is in Matt. 25:21, 23, 1 Cor. 4:2, and likely in 1 Tim. 1:12. In this case, it could be understand in Titus 1:6 to mean “faithful” to the father or the family in their particular role as children. Elsewhere it is synonymous with “believing” or being a Christian (1 Tim. 4:3, 10; 6:2; Acts 10:45. If this is the meaning of Titus 1:6, it would mean that the man’s children are Christians who are living faithful lives. In each of the above scriptures referenced, only the context of the passage provides us any insight into which interpretation is to be preferred.

So what is the answer in Titus 1:6?

I’m not sure I know definitively. There’s a strong case that could be made either way. But in my opinion (and that’s all it is), the overarching, final goal of these criteria is to find men who are capable of shepherding the congregation, proven by their track record as fathers. One question that could be asked of a particular candidate is: Did this individual provide the expected physical and spiritual nourishment, protection, and care for their children?

It’s true that all children have free will and can decide whether or not to obey their father’s instructions, but the question before us is whether the father provided the things for their own children that an elder ought to be able to provide to the congregation: diligent instruction in truth, protection from falsehood, and care for physical and spiritual wellbeing. If the potential candidate’s deficiencies in one or more of these areas may have potentially led to his child’s unfaithfulness to the Lord, then he likely needs to humbly remove himself from consideration for eldership. If, however, these shepherding characteristics were seen by others in the upbringing of the candidates’ children, I wouldn’t necessarily consider the individual unqualified if one or more of his children rebelled against their father’s upbringing of instruction/protection/care.

If the interpretation of “pistos” to the father/family is taken, the congregation and candidate needs to be incredibly clear on the spiritual status of the potential elder’s children. There can’t be any doubt in the minds of the congregation on what the candidate thinks concerning his wayward children’s souls. Is he clearly grieved by their forsaking of the Lord, despite the good instruction received at home? Obviously, this is an incredibly difficult conversation, but despite the difficulty, passages such as 1 Corinthians 5:9-10 and 2 John 9-11 need to be considered in how they apply to the particular situation.

In whatever the situation, we have to recognise the nature of congregational autonomy. It is one of the beautiful elements of God’s design in His Church.

No congregation can scripturally legislate or adjudicate the decisions of another flock. Peter tells his fellow elders to “shepherd the flock that is among you” (1 Peter 5:2). We may teach and admonish others, but not make their decisions for them. The decision made in your congregation is specific to your situation. No other congregation will know the details behind your decision, nor can they make it for you. Therefore, decisions made (or not made) ought not to prioritise a concern for what a congregation two hours away might think. You all know the flock there and your particular circumstances better than anyone else.

I pray for wisdom for everyone involved in your decision, love and grace for every member in the body while considering the uncomfortable aspects of this question and individuals involved, and trust and humility towards the Lord and His Word. May God Bless You All.

– John